[Scratch has done a lot of terrible things. To him, to Alice, to Barry, to... everyone Scratch has ever met. And yet, the simple act of ruffing Alan's hair is so infuriating that Alan can't help the almost feral snarl that erupts from him. His struggle against the darkness is renewed, and if it were normal rope he might succeed in getting at least part of himself free.
[Alan grimaces through his anger. He really doesn't want to hear about Scratch feeling 'tingly.' Yet he keeps bringing it up.]
Can't say I feel the same way.
[The best he can do is keep Scratch talking and hope he slips up so he can get free. Except he has no idea how long that'll take or what he'll have to endure before that point comes.
Hopefully before someone else does.]
So are we at the part where you tell me your plan yet?
[Instead of answering, he's just going to walk off into the kitchen. Let Alan sit there and fume while he opens the fridge, rummages around and returns with a beer that Alan probably shouldn't have.]
What can I say? I'm a simple guy.
[Opening that and taking a drink now. Not anything amazing, but it hits the spot for him.]
Oh, hope you don't mind. But then again, you probably shouldn't, right? Interferes with whatever you're supposed to be taking?
[So he'll just continue helping himself.]
Now where was I? Oh right! My plan!
[Gesturing around before setting the beer down on a table, not even using a coaster because he's just the fucking worst.]
Originally I figured I’d take things slow, we could really get to know each other, maybe I’d buy you a couple drinks, except we just talked about why that’s a bad idea. Anyways, like I said, different. But since you said you don't feel the same way...well, I've never had a problem with things being a little one-sided.
[Back to that beer, there's definitely a ring on the table now.]
[Sit there and fume Alan does, still furious but unable to do anything about it. Well and truly trapped in the darkness, all he can do is watch - with admitted confusion - as Scratch walks off. He can't help the eye roll when Scratch returns with a beer.]
Really?
[Alan doesn't expect an answer. He'll probably get a snide remark anyway. Even if Scratch is right and he shouldn't drink... God, he could use one right now to get through this. He'd even take the damn moonshine again.
As Scratch talks and the implications sink in, he decides that no, he doesn't need one drink. He needs twelve. Alan renews his struggling, because he does not want this to go in that direction at all, and the only way it won't is if he can get free.]
How about no-sided? It makes much more sense with our dynamic.
[He's hurt, really. Did that get said before somewhere in this thread? If so, here it is again, he's so wounded by this. It'll take a long time to get over this except no, it really won't.]
Oh you know there's no way I'm gonna say okay to that, right?
[And the can's back on the table now. Thankfully there's surely only so much, so even if Scratch helps himself to more, it won't end up looking like that elon nightstand photo from a couple weeks ago.]
[Just let him finish that drink first and toss the can off to the side somewhere. Adding to the list of minor bullshit for Alan to be pissed off about before getting to some heavier transgressions.]
[Alan watches the can fly off to the side with a scowl on his face. All the darkness is bad enough, but once this is over he's going to have clean up all that mess too! It's fucking rude.]
[Did he say that already? He might've, but doesn't make it any less true.]
If you think about it, I haven't done anything yet and you're this angry about it. Or at least, I haven't done too much. After all, what's a little darkness between friends?
[He doesn't expect any agreement there, nope, not at all.]
But hey, you're right, let's move things along, shall we? I don't...well, no actually I do have all day, but let's get this show on the road!
[The darkness responds to Scratch's yell, writhing against Alan, almost caressing which is probably a gross unwelcome feeling. Meanwhile Scratch'll step closer and closer, he'd be right in flare gun range again if Alan still had it. Unfortunately no, it's just him and his unpleasant...everything.]
Time to get all up close and personal, right? A real one of a kind meet and greet with world famous author Alan Wake!
After everything you've done to me, you're surprised I'm this angry already?
[They've had plenty of darkness between them already, buddy.]
And we're not friends.
[Probably... poking the proverbial bear there, maybe a real bear. God knows if there were any around Bright Falls he'd have had to fight a Taken Bear at least once. And there Scratch goes, starting... whatever madness he has planned. Alan freezes up, a confused look on his face as the darkness writhes against him, brushing against exposed skin in new and uncomfortable ways.]
Sorry, I told Barry he wasn't allowed book those kinds of meet -- [The darkness writhes against him again and Alan chokes on his words because he's quickly realising what direction this is taking.] Let me go!
[If the lumberjacks count, he's fought a bunch of Taken Bears.]
Oh look, you figured it out.
[Just a big satisfied smile while the darkness continues to writhe and roil and...well, definitely more groping now. No touch from the darkness is really a good touch, but this is a whole other kind of bad touch from it.]
And hey, Barry's not here, he could be, but like I said, you're getting all my attention right now.
[Turns out there are still a few things Scratch can surprise him with, that's not good.]
You sick --
[Alan's words are cut off by the sudden groping of the darkness. And god if that isn't the strangest sensation he's felt in a long time. He much prefers the touch of his wife, thanks. Alan glares, not pleased with the implication because the last thing he wants is Scratch subjecting Barry to... anything like this.]
You - [He gasps, trying to pull away from the groping darkness only to be groped by a different part of the darkness.] Stop it! Let me go, Scratch!
Oh what's the matter? That can't be the worst thing you've felt. Or maybe that's why?
[He's not really expecting a well thought out answer to that one.]
And no, you're not getting off that easy. I might, but you, no no no, I've got you right where I want you!
[Scratch throws him arms out being extra as hell because it's what he does.]
Alan Wake struggling against the darkness, today's horror starting to dawn on him as the darkness goes after him in a whole new way! Let's see you write your way out of this one!
[Alan doesn't even bother dignifying that with an answer, though the shudder that runs down his spine probably gives him away. It's not even that it's been that long since he and Alice had sex, it's just his body reacting to sensation despite how much his mind wishes it wouldn't.]
I knew you were a narcissist --
[And that's putting it lightly.]
But isn't this a bit much?
[... He's already formulating a way out in his head - the setup is easy, there's more than enough he could use to deter Scratch without letting the darkness creep in.
Except they're not in Cauldron Lake. He's entirely at the mercy of Scratch's whims, and that's a terrifying thought.]
[Alan gasps, unable to help himself. He does his best to angle his body away from where the darkness is squirming against him, but it's a futile effort.]
-- Stop talking about her!
[Listen, he can deal with being molested by the darkness, by Scratch. He can't put up with that bastard talking about Alice.]
[If anything, trying to angle away just encourages the darkness's touch to angle closer, trying to cling to his body.]
Oh, but I like you all riled up like this, it's no fun if you're not.
[He would probably still have fun honestly. And while he's talking about what he likes, he'll step closer to Alan, he does have more in mind than just unwanted darkness groping, of course.]
[Alan writhes, unable to get any meaningful ground of his own against the darkness.
Scratch's words give him an idea and, while it's probably not a good one, it's all he has right now. Sucking in a breath, Alan tries to center himself - not the easiest task given.... everything, but maybe if he stops taking Scratch's bait, he'll get bored.]
And we all know how much I care about your personal fun.
[An attempt was made? He's not likely to get bored just yet, but sure let's see where this goes. He does have a captive audience to entertain himself with, so he'll banter a little more.]
You might not enjoy it, but we both know you care an awful lot about what I get up to.
There's a difference between caring what you get up to and caring about your enjoyment, Scratch.
[Another deep breath as Alan continues trying to center himself. It doesn't work, the only thing that might is enough moonshine to make him go blind. As long as it isn't that swill he and Barry drank.]
I don't think I'll be doing the second any time soon.
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Too bad.]
Why don't you let me out and find out?
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[Not Scratch though, he's perfectly content right now.]
Here's a better idea though, how about I don't do that. I like you right where you are. Makes me feel all warm and tingly seeing you like this.
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Can't say I feel the same way.
[The best he can do is keep Scratch talking and hope he slips up so he can get free. Except he has no idea how long that'll take or what he'll have to endure before that point comes.
Hopefully before someone else does.]So are we at the part where you tell me your plan yet?
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What can I say? I'm a simple guy.
[Opening that and taking a drink now. Not anything amazing, but it hits the spot for him.]
Oh, hope you don't mind. But then again, you probably shouldn't, right? Interferes with whatever you're supposed to be taking?
[So he'll just continue helping himself.]
Now where was I? Oh right! My plan!
[Gesturing around before setting the beer down on a table, not even using a coaster because he's just the fucking worst.]
Originally I figured I’d take things slow, we could really get to know each other, maybe I’d buy you a couple drinks, except we just talked about why that’s a bad idea. Anyways, like I said, different. But since you said you don't feel the same way...well, I've never had a problem with things being a little one-sided.
[Back to that beer, there's definitely a ring on the table now.]
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Really?
[Alan doesn't expect an answer. He'll probably get a snide remark anyway. Even if Scratch is right and he shouldn't drink... God, he could use one right now to get through this. He'd even take the damn moonshine again.
As Scratch talks and the implications sink in, he decides that no, he doesn't need one drink. He needs twelve. Alan renews his struggling, because he does not want this to go in that direction at all, and the only way it won't is if he can get free.]
How about no-sided? It makes much more sense with our dynamic.
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[He's hurt, really. Did that get said before somewhere in this thread? If so, here it is again, he's so wounded by this. It'll take a long time to get over this except no, it really won't.]
Oh you know there's no way I'm gonna say okay to that, right?
[Another drink while he just grins at Alan.]
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The writer is quiet for a moment, a short exhale finally escaping him as processes what was said.]
It was worth a try.
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Aw, do you want a gold star for trying?
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I'd settle for you leaving.
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After I've had my fun.
[Just let him finish that drink first and toss the can off to the side somewhere. Adding to the list of minor bullshit for Alan to be pissed off about before getting to some heavier transgressions.]
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Why don't you just get it over with, then?
[Dangerous words, Alan.]
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[Did he say that already? He might've, but doesn't make it any less true.]
If you think about it, I haven't done anything yet and you're this angry about it. Or at least, I haven't done too much. After all, what's a little darkness between friends?
[He doesn't expect any agreement there, nope, not at all.]
But hey, you're right, let's move things along, shall we? I don't...well, no actually I do have all day, but let's get this show on the road!
[The darkness responds to Scratch's yell, writhing against Alan, almost caressing which is probably a gross unwelcome feeling. Meanwhile Scratch'll step closer and closer, he'd be right in flare gun range again if Alan still had it. Unfortunately no, it's just him and his unpleasant...everything.]
Time to get all up close and personal, right? A real one of a kind meet and greet with world famous author Alan Wake!
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[They've had plenty of darkness between them already, buddy.]
And we're not friends.
[Probably... poking the proverbial bear there, maybe a real bear. God knows if there were any around Bright Falls he'd have had to fight a Taken Bear at least once. And there Scratch goes, starting... whatever madness he has planned. Alan freezes up, a confused look on his face as the darkness writhes against him, brushing against exposed skin in new and uncomfortable ways.]
Sorry, I told Barry he wasn't allowed book those kinds of meet -- [The darkness writhes against him again and Alan chokes on his words because he's quickly realising what direction this is taking.] Let me go!
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Oh look, you figured it out.
[Just a big satisfied smile while the darkness continues to writhe and roil and...well, definitely more groping now. No touch from the darkness is really a good touch, but this is a whole other kind of bad touch from it.]
And hey, Barry's not here, he could be, but like I said, you're getting all my attention right now.
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You sick --
[Alan's words are cut off by the sudden groping of the darkness. And god if that isn't the strangest sensation he's felt in a long time. He much prefers the touch of his wife, thanks. Alan glares, not pleased with the implication because the last thing he wants is Scratch subjecting Barry to... anything like this.]
You - [He gasps, trying to pull away from the groping darkness only to be groped by a different part of the darkness.] Stop it! Let me go, Scratch!
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[He's not really expecting a well thought out answer to that one.]
And no, you're not getting off that easy. I might, but you, no no no, I've got you right where I want you!
[Scratch throws him arms out being extra as hell because it's what he does.]
Alan Wake struggling against the darkness, today's horror starting to dawn on him as the darkness goes after him in a whole new way! Let's see you write your way out of this one!
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I knew you were a narcissist --
[And that's putting it lightly.]
But isn't this a bit much?
[... He's already formulating a way out in his head - the setup is easy, there's more than enough he could use to deter Scratch without letting the darkness creep in.
Except they're not in Cauldron Lake. He's entirely at the mercy of Scratch's whims, and that's a terrifying thought.]
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Probably not, TV censors would have a fit, but that’s probably a closer answer than anything else.]
So what if it is? You're always supposed to raise the stakes the next time around.
[Though that might work better for movie sequels instead of books.]
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Alan grimaces.]
The stakes usually match the genre. Mixing them like this is going to alienate your core audience and confuse new readers.
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[The darkness squirms against Alan like it's not really a fan of playing second fiddle to that.]
Gotta say though, I hope you don't do that when you're with her. Otherwise you'll be in the genre of sleeping on the couch.
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-- Stop talking about her!
[Listen, he can deal with being molested by the darkness, by Scratch. He can't put up with that bastard talking about Alice.]
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Oh, but I like you all riled up like this, it's no fun if you're not.
[He would probably still have fun honestly. And while he's talking about what he likes, he'll step closer to Alan, he does have more in mind than just unwanted darkness groping, of course.]
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Scratch's words give him an idea and, while it's probably not a good one, it's all he has right now. Sucking in a breath, Alan tries to center himself - not the easiest task given.... everything, but maybe if he stops taking Scratch's bait, he'll get bored.]
And we all know how much I care about your personal fun.
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You might not enjoy it, but we both know you care an awful lot about what I get up to.
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[Another deep breath as Alan continues trying to center himself. It doesn't work, the only thing that might is enough moonshine to make him go blind. As long as it isn't that swill he and Barry drank.]
I don't think I'll be doing the second any time soon.
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