youbutfun: (go fuck yourself)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2022-11-09 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, someone's mad.

[Not Scratch though, he's perfectly content right now.]

Here's a better idea though, how about I don't do that. I like you right where you are. Makes me feel all warm and tingly seeing you like this.
youbutfun: (scooters menancingly)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2022-11-15 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
[Instead of answering, he's just going to walk off into the kitchen. Let Alan sit there and fume while he opens the fridge, rummages around and returns with a beer that Alan probably shouldn't have.]

What can I say? I'm a simple guy.

[Opening that and taking a drink now. Not anything amazing, but it hits the spot for him.]

Oh, hope you don't mind. But then again, you probably shouldn't, right? Interferes with whatever you're supposed to be taking?

[So he'll just continue helping himself.]

Now where was I? Oh right! My plan!

[Gesturing around before setting the beer down on a table, not even using a coaster because he's just the fucking worst.]

Originally I figured I’d take things slow, we could really get to know each other, maybe I’d buy you a couple drinks, except we just talked about why that’s a bad idea. Anyways, like I said, different. But since you said you don't feel the same way...well, I've never had a problem with things being a little one-sided.

[Back to that beer, there's definitely a ring on the table now.]
youbutfun: (shocked but not that shocked)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2022-12-03 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
No-sided? Really? After all that...

[He's hurt, really. Did that get said before somewhere in this thread? If so, here it is again, he's so wounded by this. It'll take a long time to get over this except no, it really won't.]

Oh you know there's no way I'm gonna say okay to that, right?

[Another drink while he just grins at Alan.]
youbutfun: (today i will cause problems on purpose)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2022-12-19 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[And the can's back on the table now. Thankfully there's surely only so much, so even if Scratch helps himself to more, it won't end up looking like that elon nightstand photo from a couple weeks ago.]

Aw, do you want a gold star for trying?
youbutfun: (hey buddy)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2023-01-04 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
[MAKE HIM.]

After I've had my fun.

[Just let him finish that drink first and toss the can off to the side somewhere. Adding to the list of minor bullshit for Alan to be pissed off about before getting to some heavier transgressions.]
youbutfun: (scooters menancingly)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2023-02-06 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
Because it's fun watching your squirm.

[Did he say that already? He might've, but doesn't make it any less true.]

If you think about it, I haven't done anything yet and you're this angry about it. Or at least, I haven't done too much. After all, what's a little darkness between friends?

[He doesn't expect any agreement there, nope, not at all.]

But hey, you're right, let's move things along, shall we? I don't...well, no actually I do have all day, but let's get this show on the road!

[The darkness responds to Scratch's yell, writhing against Alan, almost caressing which is probably a gross unwelcome feeling. Meanwhile Scratch'll step closer and closer, he'd be right in flare gun range again if Alan still had it. Unfortunately no, it's just him and his unpleasant...everything.]

Time to get all up close and personal, right? A real one of a kind meet and greet with world famous author Alan Wake!
youbutfun: (today i will cause problems on purpose)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2023-03-07 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
[If the lumberjacks count, he's fought a bunch of Taken Bears.]

Oh look, you figured it out.

[Just a big satisfied smile while the darkness continues to writhe and roil and...well, definitely more groping now. No touch from the darkness is really a good touch, but this is a whole other kind of bad touch from it.]

And hey, Barry's not here, he could be, but like I said, you're getting all my attention right now.
youbutfun: (slicks alan's hair back)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2023-05-01 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
Oh what's the matter? That can't be the worst thing you've felt. Or maybe that's why?

[He's not really expecting a well thought out answer to that one.]

And no, you're not getting off that easy. I might, but you, no no no, I've got you right where I want you!

[Scratch throws him arms out being extra as hell because it's what he does.]

Alan Wake struggling against the darkness, today's horror starting to dawn on him as the darkness goes after him in a whole new way! Let's see you write your way out of this one!
youbutfun: (slicks alan's hair back)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2023-07-22 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
[Nope, definitely not Cauldron Lake. But probably not the real world either. Could something like this happen in...Night Springs?

Probably not, TV censors would have a fit, but that’s probably a closer answer than anything else.]


So what if it is? You're always supposed to raise the stakes the next time around.

[Though that might work better for movie sequels instead of books.]
youbutfun: (just realized balance slays the demon)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2023-08-12 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
You know what? I'm actually impressed. Here you are getting all touchy feely with the Darkness and you're more concerned about literary criticism.

[The darkness squirms against Alan like it's not really a fan of playing second fiddle to that.]

Gotta say though, I hope you don't do that when you're with her. Otherwise you'll be in the genre of sleeping on the couch.
youbutfun: (tfw alan has no waifu)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2023-08-23 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
[If anything, trying to angle away just encourages the darkness's touch to angle closer, trying to cling to his body.]

Oh, but I like you all riled up like this, it's no fun if you're not.

[He would probably still have fun honestly. And while he's talking about what he likes, he'll step closer to Alan, he does have more in mind than just unwanted darkness groping, of course.]


youbutfun: (today i will cause problems on purpose)

[personal profile] youbutfun 2023-09-17 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
[An attempt was made? He's not likely to get bored just yet, but sure let's see where this goes. He does have a captive audience to entertain himself with, so he'll banter a little more.]

You might not enjoy it, but we both know you care an awful lot about what I get up to.

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