open post; alan wake

[twains]

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[twains]

[Alan watches the can fly off to the side with a scowl on his face. All the darkness is bad enough, but once this is over he's going to have clean up all that mess too! It's fucking rude.]

Why don't you just get it over with, then?

[Dangerous words, Alan.]

[youbutfun]

Because it's fun watching your squirm.

[Did he say that already? He might've, but doesn't make it any less true.]

If you think about it, I haven't done anything yet and you're this angry about it. Or at least, I haven't done too much. After all, what's a little darkness between friends?

[He doesn't expect any agreement there, nope, not at all.]

But hey, you're right, let's move things along, shall we? I don't...well, no actually I do have all day, but let's get this show on the road!

[The darkness responds to Scratch's yell, writhing against Alan, almost caressing which is probably a gross unwelcome feeling. Meanwhile Scratch'll step closer and closer, he'd be right in flare gun range again if Alan still had it. Unfortunately no, it's just him and his unpleasant...everything.]

Time to get all up close and personal, right? A real one of a kind meet and greet with world famous author Alan Wake!

[twains]

After everything you've done to me, you're surprised I'm this angry already?

[They've had plenty of darkness between them already, buddy.]

And we're not friends.

[Probably... poking the proverbial bear there, maybe a real bear. God knows if there were any around Bright Falls he'd have had to fight a Taken Bear at least once. And there Scratch goes, starting... whatever madness he has planned. Alan freezes up, a confused look on his face as the darkness writhes against him, brushing against exposed skin in new and uncomfortable ways.]

Sorry, I told Barry he wasn't allowed book those kinds of meet -- [The darkness writhes against him again and Alan chokes on his words because he's quickly realising what direction this is taking.] Let me go!

[youbutfun]

[If the lumberjacks count, he's fought a bunch of Taken Bears.]

Oh look, you figured it out.

[Just a big satisfied smile while the darkness continues to writhe and roil and...well, definitely more groping now. No touch from the darkness is really a good touch, but this is a whole other kind of bad touch from it.]

And hey, Barry's not here, he could be, but like I said, you're getting all my attention right now.

[twains]

[Turns out there are still a few things Scratch can surprise him with, that's not good.]

You sick --

[Alan's words are cut off by the sudden groping of the darkness. And god if that isn't the strangest sensation he's felt in a long time. He much prefers the touch of his wife, thanks. Alan glares, not pleased with the implication because the last thing he wants is Scratch subjecting Barry to... anything like this.]

You - [He gasps, trying to pull away from the groping darkness only to be groped by a different part of the darkness.] Stop it! Let me go, Scratch!

[youbutfun]

Oh what's the matter? That can't be the worst thing you've felt. Or maybe that's why?

[He's not really expecting a well thought out answer to that one.]

And no, you're not getting off that easy. I might, but you, no no no, I've got you right where I want you!

[Scratch throws him arms out being extra as hell because it's what he does.]

Alan Wake struggling against the darkness, today's horror starting to dawn on him as the darkness goes after him in a whole new way! Let's see you write your way out of this one!

[twains]

[Alan doesn't even bother dignifying that with an answer, though the shudder that runs down his spine probably gives him away. It's not even that it's been that long since he and Alice had sex, it's just his body reacting to sensation despite how much his mind wishes it wouldn't.]

I knew you were a narcissist --

[And that's putting it lightly.]

But isn't this a bit much?

[... He's already formulating a way out in his head - the setup is easy, there's more than enough he could use to deter Scratch without letting the darkness creep in.

Except they're not in Cauldron Lake. He's entirely at the mercy of Scratch's whims, and that's a terrifying thought.]

[youbutfun]

[Nope, definitely not Cauldron Lake. But probably not the real world either. Could something like this happen in...Night Springs?

Probably not, TV censors would have a fit, but that’s probably a closer answer than anything else.]

So what if it is? You're always supposed to raise the stakes the next time around.

[Though that might work better for movie sequels instead of books.]

[twains]

[It's too far even for the planned but ultimately canceled Night Springs After Dark spinoff.

Alan grimaces.]

The stakes usually match the genre. Mixing them like this is going to alienate your core audience and confuse new readers.

[youbutfun]

You know what? I'm actually impressed. Here you are getting all touchy feely with the Darkness and you're more concerned about literary criticism.

[The darkness squirms against Alan like it's not really a fan of playing second fiddle to that.]

Gotta say though, I hope you don't do that when you're with her. Otherwise you'll be in the genre of sleeping on the couch.

[twains]

[Alan gasps, unable to help himself. He does his best to angle his body away from where the darkness is squirming against him, but it's a futile effort.]

-- Stop talking about her!

[Listen, he can deal with being molested by the darkness, by Scratch. He can't put up with that bastard talking about Alice.]

[youbutfun]

[If anything, trying to angle away just encourages the darkness's touch to angle closer, trying to cling to his body.]

Oh, but I like you all riled up like this, it's no fun if you're not.

[He would probably still have fun honestly. And while he's talking about what he likes, he'll step closer to Alan, he does have more in mind than just unwanted darkness groping, of course.]

[twains]

[Alan writhes, unable to get any meaningful ground of his own against the darkness.

Scratch's words give him an idea and, while it's probably not a good one, it's all he has right now. Sucking in a breath, Alan tries to center himself - not the easiest task given.... everything, but maybe if he stops taking Scratch's bait, he'll get bored.]

And we all know how much I care about your personal fun.

[youbutfun]

[An attempt was made? He's not likely to get bored just yet, but sure let's see where this goes. He does have a captive audience to entertain himself with, so he'll banter a little more.]

You might not enjoy it, but we both know you care an awful lot about what I get up to.

[twains]

There's a difference between caring what you get up to and caring about your enjoyment, Scratch.

[Another deep breath as Alan continues trying to center himself. It doesn't work, the only thing that might is enough moonshine to make him go blind. As long as it isn't that swill he and Barry drank.]

I don't think I'll be doing the second any time soon.

[youbutfun]

Oh, I'm hurt. You don't care if I have a good time?

[Stepping closer, close enough for Alan to smell the alcohol on his breath unless he was that close before and I forgot. The darkness had oddly behaved itself while Alan's been trying to center himself which probably isn't a good sign.

He doesn't have to wait for the other shoe to drop though when the darkness around Alan's crotch recedes and is immediately replaced by Scratch's hand. Could probably drink all the moonshine in the world and it wouldn't be enough to black out the memory of this.]

Too bad, doesn't change a thing.

[twains]

[The smell of alcohol on Scratch's breath is enough to make Alan flinch, his head turning to the side to avoid it. A mistake, if only because it means he doesn't see what happens next - he only feels it.]

-- What the fuck, Scratch? Let go!

[God what a strange feeling it is; his own hand touching himself from an impossible angle. Alan renews his struggle, abandoning his plan to bore Scratch into leaving because no part of him enjoys this. All it succeeds in doing is pushing his crotch against the doppelganger's hand.]

[youbutfun]

[If anything Alan's disgust and attempt to struggle just entertains him more, so he does not let go, sorry. But almost worse than the touch is...]

Aw, is that a new hardcover in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

[twains]

[Alan almost forgets about the increasingly awful situation he's currently in, completely taken aback by the awful, awful line.]

You can't be serious. Get off me, and take your awful lines with you!

[youbutfun]

Get off you?

[He does not do that, nope, instead he continues to fondle Alan through his pants.]

Let's take an editing pass through that one Mr. Best-selling Writer. Move that you before the off and it works way better with what I'm doing.

[twains]

[This isn't even the Dark Place is it? He's died and gone to hell. That's the only possible narrative explanation for why this is happening to him. Alan groans, frustrated by Scratch's bullshit and the awful, awful lines he's spewing.

Unfortunately, he's still a man and despite the control he might over the written word, he can't control his body anywhere near as well. Alan begins to grow aroused underneath Scratch's fondling hand.]

What's the motive here, Scratch? [Alan grunts.] I knew you were a narcissist, but you've never gone this far before.

[Thankfully.]

[youbutfun]

[Could be. Maybe that's one of the unnamed AW2 DLCs, Alan in Hell.]

What's my motive? Is it that hard to figure out? I'm just fucking with you.

[Someone please shut him up.]

Okay, being honest, that's just an added bonus. Truth is, I think you've gotten a little too comfortable. Sure, you haven't exactly put it all behind you, but you've escaped the Darkness, been living here with that wife of yours, it's all good now! Or at least good enough.

Seems to me like you're long overdue for a reality check.

[As unreal as this all is anyways...]

[twains]

A reality check?

[Those two words are enough to make the writer see red. His barely formed plan is abandoned as quickly as it was thought of and his struggles against the Darkness renewed. It still manages exactly nothing besides putting him right into Scratch's hand, figuratively and literally.]

I earned this, Scratch!

[youbutfun]

Oh, you earned this?

[Only figuratively now since Scratch will give Alan’s junk a brief reprieve since he needs both hands to wave in the air to accompany his sarcasm about Alan’s remarks.]

You earned this?

[Throwing his arms out to gesture at Alan’s home. He’s about one big hand gesture away from becoming a PS1 Resident Evil character.]

I gotta say if this is what you earned, then it really wasn’t worth all the effort.

[Scratch puts his arms down, that annoying grin back on his face.]

Still stuck, still having to put up with me, not that you hear me complaining, but doesn't seem like you got a lot out of it. And that's not even getting into all those pills you're taking, I'm sure those have been real helpful.

[twains]

[Alan doesn't make a sound when his dick is given a reprieve. His relief is almost tangible in the room, though it sadly can do nothing against the darkness. He tries to catch his breath as Scratch goes on his tirade, unable to do anything else besides listen.]

I was free!. From the Dark Place, from you!

[Alan quickly falls silent as what Scratch said fully sinks in. Was Scratch referring to his current situation? Or was he playing his hand and revealing that Alan never actually escaped The Dark Place?]